« Wait, So is this a Date? » Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on « Wait, Is it a Date? » we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Word

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You got that right! This occurrence is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with pals’ exes, pals hooking up with the help of our exes, while the culture developed by all of that crisis.

Arrive the news, stay your mental running. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually will never.)

Thanks for all the good opinions after our very own premiere! When you haven’t however think about giving us a rating or test!

SHOW NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese make an
Old Hollywood chart
that’s the intersection of my interests.

+ Discover
the essay
We reference in which I mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My crush for the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a music movie for her track
« one thing to Say »
!

+ As anyone who has just viewed a number of attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of this few days C.C. Babcock ended up being stunning if you ask me if it ended up she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nonetheless are.)

Drew:

I’d be very fine with it present. I would never include somebody else without their permission. But the concept of every time someone was like, « Confirm that you are linked to me, » I’d wind up as, « Yeah, oahu is the life I resided. I don’t care about. » Usually odd? Usually problems?

Christina:

No, because if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel poor not-being. I’d be like, « hold off, I am not sleeping? »

Theme track plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And introducing

Wait, Is This A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top concerns. To start with, will it be a date? What exactly are times? That happen to be dates? Do we like dates? These represent the variety of concerns that individuals address on this subject here extremely pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the web. I am getting better at describing myself personally as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is all of us. That’s whom we are.

Drew:

Yeah. So the main topic this week is The Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it needed a sting. I am not sure. That thought really dramatic, but I think it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, please. Thanks, thank you. No, no, no. The proper quantity of crisis.

Christina:

Thank you so much.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I favor that expression as it feels like you will need to resume the lesbians. It sounds such as the connection to the internet isn’t really functioning.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely sophisticated, very innovative, and has been in existence since there has been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students will say after they discovered initial lesbian fossils, they found a chart alongside of these created into the mud. And I also genuinely believe that’s just what that film is mostly about, correct? It is more about the chart? That film with Kate Winslet plus the sand fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cavern ladies. I’d watch that lesbian movie.

Christina:

Well, as I have not seen it, i’ll bravely point out that it absolutely was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we’ve got so many lesbian period pieces, but we have now never gone straight back that much. And that I think it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Why don’t we only hold getting it more back in its history.

Drew:

Before we become to the major subject, you are nonetheless getting to know you. And that I felt that it might be enjoyable to experience a casino game for which you guys could actually familiarize yourself with Christina. Very the icebreaker with this few days is actually a little online game that I call « Would U-Haul. »

Christina:

I am, again, thus pressured about this. This might just be the way i-come inside online game. This could be my personal video game mentality, somewhat high-key, a little stressed. Which is fine. We are all learning.

Drew:

I believe which is great. I do believe that can move you to more susceptible, maybe.

Christina:

Certainly my favorite feelings.

Drew:

Only a horror, just an acute horror. So the method in which « Would U-Haul » really works is actually i will explain a situation. Why don’t we call it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m probably pause after each little part getting love, « Okay, Christina, i understand you have never resided with a partner, do not want to live with someone. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul? »

Christina:

And I also will possibly say yes or I’ll say, « i am ready. »

Drew:

If you don’t — really, we’re going to see here. But I’m thrilled. In my opinion I maybe damaged the rule.

Christina:

You have cracked the signal? I’m excited.

Drew:

Let us observe how very long this takes. And in case you never perform, i do believe you victory? I’m not sure how you will find champions right here.

Christina:

I don’t know that we now have winners inside the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I am not sure if you’ll accept that after that. So I’m getting going.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the pal’s wedding ceremony. In spite of the great number of romcoms you have consumed, you probably did not head to this wedding ceremony thinking you would satisfy any person because, really, this is not a romcom. This is the actual and regular longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take the designated chair as they are glancing at your telephone as soon as you understand a lady at the dining table is wanting at you. She introduces by herself as your friend’s previous babysitter. She’s remained a pal regarding the family members, but she doesn’t actually know any individual there. She looks like mid-forties and contains a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to allow you to get a glass or two. And when she compares, you recognize she is six legs high, 6′ 3″ in heels. And that means you know very well what? I am simply planning to stop there and start to become like, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m fascinated. I am captivated because i would get set at this marriage. But at this point I’m not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is completely fair. Totally fair. Okay. And that means you spend entire wedding learning the other person. There’s just an instantaneous spark and instant chemistry. And yes, you do get together and also the intercourse is remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And so this wedding was a student in Northern Ca. Which means you both expand your remains for a few times to bang and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. While provide to separate the cost of the today shared area, but she laughs you down and it is like, « clearly not, honey. » And so the next 3 days are miracle. You are feeling the wall space tumbling down. You’re dropping quicker than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus simply for understanding’s sake, I’m having difficulty picturing some sort of which we took three surprise days off try to hang out with people i actually do not understand. That seems bonkers. However if I did, best for me. But i am not U-Hauling at this time. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That is okay. You simply came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thanks a lot really.

Drew:

So she returns to ny while go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where We reside.

Drew:

And you’re texting all the time. This is where you live and it’s really where this woman lives. And you’re texting continuously while see each other many times four weeks. She’s extremely busy together task, but she actually is rapid to purchase you a train pass so you can come see this lady and stay at her gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. Then 6 months pass. And something evening if you are off to meal, she requires you to definitely relocate together with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to New York? I really don’t love New York. No, I am not transferring within 6 months level. I’m not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, totally, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold dating long-distance. She knows that you want some time she’s prepared to wait a little for you. Some more several months pass. It’s today been over annually. The landlord lets you know that they are selling your place to a developer that is investing in condos, so that you are unable to renew it. You should find a fresh destination. Your today sweetheart lets you know that no force, but the woman offer nevertheless stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i’d U-Haul for a few explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Mainly, in a global in which my property owner offered the house to build up it, my property owner is now my companion, to ensure seems like something went wrong within relationship. And I might want to only leave Philadelphia anyway. Of course I have to go in using my girlfriend over here, that looks great. That’s good. Completely fine. But yeah, I think I might require an external force like a mean property manager.

Drew:

Which is very — fine. I did so believe might need certainly to need housing attain truth be told there, and so I’m pleased We realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s just what actually must accidentally myself 1st.

Drew:

Really, i am happy to know what it’s going to take. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t knocked out, how much cash additional time?

Christina:

Truthfully, which could went on for a long time. Philly and New York are not even that far from both. I acquired area over right here. We are bouncing back and forth. We’re having happy times. I possibly could have permit that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst individual I’m sure.

Drew:

I didn’t know Shoshana possessed your home. Well, there you go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, which was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, becoming obvious.

Drew:

And I’m happy that i understand… possibly in case you are actually ever, so if anybody’s ever online dating you and wishes that move in, perhaps the girl told Shoshana to market the home in the interests of your commitment.

Christina:

Truthfully the fastest means — someone would have to keep in touch with Shoshana and stay love, « simply kick the lady aside. » Following she’d wind up as, « Yeah, certain. Of course. » That could be how it took place, no matter if she don’t sell the house. Some body would you should be like, « Could you only stop her away therefore she’ll merely get over it and relocate beside me? » And she’d say yes. A hundred percent she would do this. That is what friendship is.

Drew:

I love that.

Christina:

Yeah, that’s truly breathtaking.

Drew:

Well, i’m like we discovered many in regards to you.

Christina:

Many Thanks. I’m like I discovered plenty about myself, also. Danger of homelessness is really the matter that keeps me personally moving in any scenario, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.

Christina:

That was actually exciting. I am just as excited to move into all of our main portion because I think discussing lesbian connectivity with this specific guest, with this special guest, In my opinion it will likely be amazing, Drew. How could you be feeling?

Drew:

I am so excited. This is certainly a specialized. And by that, i am talking about an

L Term

expert, but additionally some a specialist during the subject accessible.

Christina:

In my opinion a few things is genuine, my buddy. I think two things is generally genuine without a doubt. Will we wish to introduce our guest or will we want our visitor introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would personally love the visitor to introduce by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall claim that our very own guest may be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s also strange becoming the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it is.

Riese:

I had not to state any such thing. I didn’t also get it done. I did say circumstances. I experienced to sit right here silently.

Christina:

And you also were really brave. Along with your confronts happened to be appreciated.

Riese:

Thank-you really.

Christina:

Though this will be demonstrably an audio medium, i’d like all of our audience to know that Riese was creating some very nice impulse faces during « Would U-Haul. »

Riese:

There’s many ways to-be heard. Guess what happens i am talking about? That is what i usually state. I am the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball team. That is certainly me. I’ve a dog known as Carol. And I have actually outdated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!

Riese:

Thanks a lot. I’ve been involved in folks.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. That is fantastic to bring to this, this here online dating podcast. That’s excellent.

Riese:

Yeah. I think that… Is there whatever else?

Drew:

No, I think that’s fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

What you may wish discuss.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You Are Aware when someone goes like…

Drew:

Its like once you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be terrible, therefore I just exhausted them from my head.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I instantly looked at you because of this subject.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian community have already been like, I am not sure, having sexual intercourse with folks who their friends have experienced sex with since a long time before

The L Term

had been ever before a set. But i really do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a certain cultural idea of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like might have plenty of understanding of this subject.

Riese:

It is true. Two of the writers, i do want to say, of

The L Keyword

had this real data of them as well as their buddies these were attracting about wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, was one of those. She chatted to you about this, they had developed this. Because obviously, everybody else where copywriter’s area had banged other folks within the journalist — you understand, and the extended web of this generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also watched that and these people were like, « Let’s place it when you look at the tv series. » Many of these take the information. Like, one particular who … like, actual men and women are on the information as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is amazing. That is the method that you know you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that cute?

Christina:

That could be fascinating for me personally.

Riese:

So when you yourself haven’t viewed

The L Keyword,

first and foremost, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of 1 of one’s lead character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got every thing over the woman wall. And in addition it could be the name of an internet site . that they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the idea … and it is within the pilot, I think. In initial occurrence, Alice starts discussing exactly how every person’s linked, because everyone’s hooked up with this particular person. And I can link you, like you’re probably at the most two levels from myself. And that ended up being true. Like, even with Dana, who’d not a lot of knowledge because she had been a closeted tennis player, they nonetheless could hook up her. And that’s real world since it is correct.

Christina:

That’s culture. Yeah. That’s what culture appears to be.

Riese:

That’s culture. That is queer tradition right there. And now everybody tends to make their charts.

Christina:

Yeah. So that was going to be my next question, was actually have either people made a chart? Because Really don’t imagine You will find, I am also sort of now considering like, that was this just last year sitting within my house for if I did not make a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, really?

Riese:

In my opinion I accomplished it in my diary, just as like … Because i love, I don’t know, organizing details, i suppose, as an idea workout.

Christina:

Yeah, I think that is in addition precisely why Im amazed that We haven’t accomplished it. I really like the idea of categorizing circumstances.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Since it is fascinating. I’m not sure precisely why it really is therefore fascinating, but it is. Its interesting become love, wow, all these people, they are connected. It is untamed.

Drew:

From the tv show, when ourchart.com is devised, they usually have an authentic data that people will add material. And that I feel just like something that you joked in regards to on

To L and Back,

and today folks say continuously is like, if this existed in an actual way, no body would put their unique names on it, no one would feel comfortable placing their labels onto it.

Riese:

You’d.

Drew:

I’d. I would personally end up being very great with-it current. I would never ever include someone else without their unique authorization. However the idea of similar, every time some one had been like, « Confirm that you are attached to myself, » I would be like, « Yeah, it’s the existence i have stayed. I do not worry about. » Would be that weird? Is that an issue?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i might feel terrible not … i’d wind up as, « hold off, I’m not onto it? Like, i am sorry, just what? » No, that will actually deliver me personally into a light ethical panic about exactly who i’m as individuals, what I’m undertaking. Have always been we interesting? Would men and women {like
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